#god forbid there be some magic bs in this theory

[bhadpodcast]

TW Ep 6.07

Okay, here we go!

The beginning was actually pretty interesting. Because it was just Theo, lol. He was hallucinating his sister ripping his heart out over and over. It was gross and kind of heart-wrenching (sorry!). He had actual tears in his eyes as he told his sister it was okay she could kill him as many times as she wanted. 

Then YIKES it turned into Malia, well, being Malia, and trying to kill him while he was out of it, with the rest of the Scooby gang standing around watching [StickyNote: So  Malia attacked someone who was incompacitated? That doesn’t sound like her at all! /intensesarcasm]. Then the One True Leader decides to finally step in and stop her from mauling Theo.

Scoot says put him back in the ground [StickyNote: So all the other villains are worth saving and rehabbing, but not the ones who actually one-upped Scott?  You guys, this world DESERVES him!] , Scrappy Doo, I mean Liam, says no way, Satomi [StickyNote: omg PLEASE let him have said Satomi and not Noshiko, lol!]  gave me the sword not you, yadda yadda yadda, who cares. (2.0 don’t listen to Scott at ALL!) Liam insists Theo is of us because he remembers Stiles and the Dread Doctors knew about the Wild Hunt, which does not follow that Theo knows as well, but whatever.  Coyote Ugly pipes up that she remembers Stiles too! [StickyNote: Specifically what he  looks like sleeping.]  And so does Scott and Lydia, so there! Do what she says or else, basically.

It went from being vaguely interesting to dead boring with a flash of Malia’s skanky claws.

Scott starts spouting things that one of the writers got off the fan pages about how can they trust Theo, because when they did before look what happened! Liam points out Scott made mistakes as the Alpha (bless him) and Scott agrees, but still wants his own way, blah blah blah. Typical TW writer recycled bs or appropriated from fan pages, so we’ve heard all that already or thought of it ourselves. Never and original thought with that crew!

Cut to the Stlinski home. Sheriff goes into the room and Dead Claudia pops up out of nowhere and tells him to come out (she noticeably doesn’t go inside) and tries to tell him he’s being cray to suppose they had a son and why don’t they just pretend the room’s not there.  [StickyNote: Also, HOW DID THEY NOT NOTICE THIS ROOM!?  IT HAS WINDOWS!!  WHAT DID THEY THINK WHEN THEY WERE OUTSIDE?!?]

We all saw the bit about Theo being walked like a dog, the stupid dialog that went with it. (At this point I noticed everyone keeps saying ‘ride the lightning’ like it means something. It probably means nothing at all because it’s TW!) Theo cannot believe how stupid they are. It was complete filler. Cody looked good, but that’s about it.  

They hook up with the rest of the McCall Fail Pack and find another secret lair in the woods which happens to have a huge ass transformer in it. They spout some bad science about how they’ll be able to trap a Ghost Rider behind a chain-link cage and some mountain ash. (We need a Hale eyeroll gift, istg.)

They should all be dead. Except Theo, who can still not believe how stuipd they are.

So then we go on to Melissa and Malia abusing Peter in the hospital even though Melissa said he was burned over 90% of his body and Malia should probably say her goobyes. Malia wants him dead, of course. Malia wants everybody dead so big surprise, but she agrees that if he helps them get back to the train station she…won’t try to make him fully dead? Her part of that deal was not clear. Again, big surprise.

Melissa said he always has a devious plan to hurt everyone around him. NOT TRUE!! He always has a devious plan to benefit Peter Hale, hurting *select* individuals around him is a side bonus!

Melissa injecta him with the SEVEN HERBS, which I guess is the magical cure all now, and Peter has a very painful recovery with the the health care professional and his daughter just standing there watching him scream with their souless eyes.  [StickyNote: So... mistletoe, poinsetta, mountain ash, wolfsbane, bleach, garlic and chocolate?]

Now we have Lydia was laying on the bed (making her boob job very noticeable) and Natalie comes in to talk. Lyida tells her about the woman in Cannan (I don't think she told her the woman was a banshee) and puts out her theory that the woman 'conjured’ her son to fill the VOID (void kept being oddly stressed, like VOID STILES, GET IT? GET IT?!!) Oddly enough, this is almost the Natalie I remember from the old days and I liked this scene.

Now comes the major stupidity - True Alpha Pack and the GR.

Scott is the worst. He lets Theo get hurt so he can steal the GR’s gun. Send Mason and his Boo (the two most vulnerable) with Baby Selena out into the woods and the storm where the other non-captured GR’s are, then Alpha roars at the GR in the cage like that was supposed to do something, which because this is TW, it did! *eyeroll* The GR sort of takes notice of Scott, which of course his crew mentions, “It must be because you’re the Alpha!” because god forbid we should forget that important point.

Sheriff has called Lydia over about the room. Said it was on the blueprints, it was there when they moved in 18 years ago, and how could they have forgotten it.  Lydia starts seeing stiles stuff in the room, which is not in the right place because it ain’t their house! (They start with the bed of course, throwing the stydia’s a bone. Ugh.)

Sheriff says, “I don’t understand how you knew this was here. If you want to discuss the possibility that I had a son, I’m listening.” I got some eye moisture at that line, Linden gave Stilinski Family Feels again. Then they ruin the emotional build up they had going but cutting back to the Idiot Squad. *sigh*

Mason apparently has special Boo-Vision where he can see Cory when no one else can because of light refraction and possibly pheremones, lol. It was adorable. They so in love. 

Then they ruin that special moment with Mason spouting some TW leap of logic about how the Ghost Rider must have been trying to talk to Parrish at the party because he was a Hellhound! Whu? They pulled that out of their ass, and poor Khylin could not pull that off.

And we’re back to Lydia and the Sheriff, where he is now starting to not believe her because that would mean that Claudia is not real, that he 'conjured’ her up, which makes sense because she was his biggest loss. Except now it’s Stiles, and he replaced Stiles in his mind with the dead wife who they both loved.  [StickyNote: But wasn’t the kid last week a trade off from the GR’s?  Does Lydia know that? Why are they going with this “made up a physical person” thing?]

Then Lydia sees his jersey and helmet, and squeezes out that tear when she picks it up and smells it, but the Sheriff doesn’t see it and tells her she cray. She tells him he’s afraid to remember because he loved stiles. Then she threw the jersey at him (in slow-mo of course) and he caught it and now knows Stiles is real. (I got wet eyes again. STLINISKIS COME BACK TO ME!! I will fight everyone about my Stilinski Family Feels!)

[StickyNote: Wait, she  remembers the  Jersey so it comes back, but it takes the sheriff touching it for it to be real? What?  Oh man this is gonna be stupid.]

The 2.0 dumb asses bring Parrish to the GR, who immediately fixates on him, which is so not a good idea, but you know, dumb asses! They ask Parrish to ask the GR how to get everyone back. Like, seriously McCall Pack? He’s going to tell you?

Peter and Malia go into the preserve, which is Hale property, [StickyNote: Didn’t they put up condos? ] which they seem to have forgotten because they show their 'preserve closed’ sign, and Malia is stupid and says that bs about Stiles being her anchor. Peter tries to apply actual logic, but Malia don’t understand that shit and ignores him.

Back to Idiot Pack, trying to question the GR. The GR is all, we don’t give nothing back! Losers! Then Scott speech-ifies in a Hero Moment about how *he* will get everyone back from them and won’t stop until he does. GR retaliates by activating Parrish, lol!

Back to Peter and Malia, blah blah blah, then Peter hears the GRs and tells her to run. Also 2.0 pack is in the woods for whatever reason. Scott and Liam wrestle Parrish to the ground outside because they suddenly have that ability and to hell with season 5!  Nazi Werewolf shows up (Hauptman!) out of nowhere and he and Theo exchange stupid dialog with Theo going, 'Are you going to tell them who you are?; and NWW basically saying STFU, Theo. Theo has also been left alone with the GR because of dramatic plot reasons! NWW hurts Theo (sticks his claws in Theo’s back and hauls him around like that, poor baby!) to make him break the mountain ash. NWW implies that he’s met the GR before and then kills him! Which, WTF?! He bites GRs brain and eats the gland and steals the GR’s whip. Parrish runs off into the woods in his fireproof Under Armor, and the GR that was about to reclaim Peter also goes WTF?! when he feels his brother GR die and gallops off, leaving Peter still on this side of gateway.

The McCall brain trust immediately blame Theo for the dead GR, but backtrack when they sort of apply logic (it takes all of them to puzzle it out), then crazy NWW either kills poor Cory or sends him to the UpsideDown.

The End.

I thought you needed all this because I’m sure a lot of this mess has to do with Will’s epic episode next week! UGH!!!

Thank you for your service, boo!